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“Probably,” Bethany replied. “With what we had saved, what we invested with Steve’s help, what I received from the military, and my income, I won’t have a problem buying a small ranch-style house for Nicholas and me. There are plenty of those in Milford.”“By the way, was Jesse still up?” I asked.“What do you think?” Bethany laughed.“That tying him to his bed wouldn’t have helped!” I chuckled.“Jennifer and I got the boys right to bed. Jesse wanted to talk to Nicholas, but we managed to get him to agree to wait until tomorrow morning. But I bet Jesse was placating us and started talking to Nicholas as soon as Jennifer and I went downstairs!”“He’s really concerned about Nicholas,” Kara said.“I know,” Bethany replied. “That letter said it all.”There was a knock on the door and my sister stuck her head in.“How long will you be?” she asked.“Probably fifteen minutes. You and Ed want to come in?”“Yes, but we can wait until Bethany is done.”“Right,” I said. “Just give us fifteen minutes and. ........What a fucked up life this is I thought.I had taken my laptop to the states and on it I had photographs of Amanda and I in happier times, some nights my heart would feel heavy at the loss, but I never let it show in my few emails to Amanda, I had been in the states about 5 months when I received a email from Susan saying how worried she was about Amanda it seemed she had lost a lot of weight and was in trouble keeping on top of her job so much so that she had been forced to take some leave to sort herself out. Susan begged me to be kinder to Amanda and ended her email by adding that she really believed that Amanda thought what she was doing was for both our benefits and begged me to call Amanda for a chat if I still cared about her to help her through her depression.That evening I sat down and composed a long email in which I explained all my feelings, the betrayal, the sickness in my stomach and how I hated her and myself for letting it happen, I reminded her how I had.
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